Coworkers: Don't Trust Em'

People usually say that your manager can make or break your career. Well, here's some news for you. If you aren't careful, your coworkers can hold that same power over you.

Part of the excitement of a new job is the idea of meeting new people and making new friends, right? Work just isn't fun if you don't have a few close friends on your team, right? We all need a "best friend" at the office, right? WARNING: Friends you meet at work (especially if they are on your team) are COWORKERS first, friends second.

Hmmm... What exactly does that mean? There is a big difference between coworkers and friends. Friends are excited when you get a big raise or promotion. Coworkers (especially if they are your peers) can be bitter, jealous and may secretly feel that your glaring incompetence/kissing up/manager's delusions of your grandeur render such rewards as totally undeserved. If a manager has a $10,000 budget to give three people bonuses and you get half of that (even if it was well deserved), the other two coworkers are going to feel jilted because you got twice as much as they did. In a way, you "stole"/cheated them out of or deprived them of that money. This is exactly why you keep your mouth shut when your "friends" ask you how much of a bonus or raise you got.

The average, normal person will get over it and won't do anything crazy except curse your name at Happy Hour that night and have a few bad dreams where you stole their pony and made them cry.

However. Everyone wants to be the one who gets the big piece of the pie and everyone is delusional enough to believe that they are "better than the average person". Therefore, everyone believes that they deserve the big rewards over everyone else. No one is happy when that little dream gets crushed. When was the last time you heard someone say, "I don't really deserve a merit increase this year, even if they didn't notice that I spent 35 hours a week on Full Tilt Poker."

If there is one thing people are massively protective of, it's money. If you deprive someone of a dollar, they're going to be bitter on some level.

So... In order to protect their money/chances of additional income/job, people may do weird things. If they truly do think you are incompetent or undeserving of advancement, they may do passive aggressive things to undermine you behind your back. "Innocent" comments or vague "concerns" may get expressed to the manager or other influential people. They may say nothing (or worse, gladly contribute) to circulating gossip about you. Remember that in order for someone to "win", someone else has to lose. The more desperate someone is to win (either for the money itself, or psychological peace of mind or to feed their ego), the crazier they may get to secure the win.

I've actually had employees who were "friends" come visit me separately with the sole intention of tipping me off so that the other person would get fired. But in that department, everyone claimed that these two got along fabulously well. And yet, both of them sat in my office and said things like , "I like Bob, but... I think he's using FedEx to mail stuff to his parents in Switzerland" or "I love Susie, but... she can be so moody, almost like she's on drugs". No joke. Those conversations actually happen. A lot. By people YOU probably think of as friends.

So what's the point? Be friendly with people, but withhold certain kinds of information. Don't tell others how much you make, how much you get in bonuses, increases, perks, etc. If you NEED to share that info or really want to know what others are getting, check out some of the online sites where you can anonymously share that info (www.glassdoor.com is one of them).

And if you find yourself asking your coworkers if they got a 2% raise too, don't be surprised if later on you find yourself sitting in HR's office making vague comments like, "Bob's always talking about guns... It kind of freaks me out.... I think he brought one into work the other day..."

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Things You Must Do While You Are Employed

* Update your resume at least every three to six months. Do this regularly so you don't forget important achievements, results, and roles. People forget too many details after they have already left a job. In fact, keep a list at work of your significant achievements, accomplishments, contributions, and demonstrated results - and update it regularly. You don't want to get laid off and have to spent the first week of employment stressing out over getting your resume put together. Having a resume virtually totally updated takes a huge amount of stress off of you.

* Keep copies of important stuff at home. This means performance reviews, touching emails, and any document specific to your employment (copies of your new hire paperwork, benefits enrollment, etc). If you filed a Workers' Compensation claim, make sure you keep copies of those documents at home, especially if you are in the middle of the case. If you get fired or laid off, you may have zero opportunity to access your "stuff" once you are notified that you are being terminated.

* Sock away Emergency Money! You never know when you will need it. I recommend having enough money stashed away to cover your expenses for at least six months. There is nothing worse than getting laid off or fired and realizing that you desperately have to find a new job ASAP. At the very least, having the extra money will give you some peace of mind.

* Exchange personal contact information with those who you want to stay in contact with after you leave the company. You never know when you or your favorite coworker will be asked to go. You may want to stay in touch with them as friends, or you may want to ask them for a reference later on. Today we assume that we can find everyone on LinkedIn or Facebook. Not true. There are still a lot of people who just "haven't really gotten around to it" or have no interest in getting on these sites. Don't assume others will be easy to find once you leave.

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Why You Might Want To Get On Twitter After All

A lot of people have dismissed Twitter as not being relevant to their world - and I will be the first to say that the majority of people on there seem to be small business owners, entrepreneurs and people promoting a product, image or service. And then there are those who keep people totally current on technology, health, finance, industry updates, politics, business, sports, hobbies, celebrities and everything in between.

This works to everyone's benefit.

Regardless of what you are interested in, there are TONS of people on Twitter who are dedicated to flowing the most current and most interesting information (via links, pictures, videos, websites, etc) to their followers.

If you have a regular desk job, don't you want to stay current on your industry? Aren't you interested in what's happening day to day in your business world? Twitter literally hands you all the information you need to stay totally current. Put forth a little effort to find the right followers and you're all set. Just scan the list of posts each day and click on the posts that appeal to you and ignore the others.

While you're on there, find people who post on your hobbies too. Huge Steelers fan? Love Feng Shui? Die hard American Idol fan? You won't miss a thing once you're following people who tweet on these things. People don't want to lose followers and they are usually trying to promote their business, so they tend to post valuable, interesting content.

You don't have to tweet to others if you don't want to. You can simply follow others and get all the updates you want or need. Twitter is unbelievably powerful - if you want to stay current or looped in, this is an amazing way to do it.

www.twitter.com/careergenie

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Do You Have a Big, Empty Network?

First, a definition: "Netsuckers" are people who consume others by voraciously extracting everything they possibly can from them without giving anything in return.

Interestingly enough, Netsuckers usually know a lot of people. They've managed to corner almost all of them at some point in time. They probably have a good sized network, lots of connections and friends (online at least).

But who is really in that network? People who politely agreed to connect online (it is hard to say no to that, isn't it?).

Will those connections refer business, job opportunities, send links, reference Mr. Netsucker's blog and RT his tweets? Will they want to introduce others to the Netsucker?

The ugly truth is that the Netsucker usually has a big, empty network. What good is a huge network of people who find you annoying or who barely remember who you are? Isn't that a bit counterproductive? Ever go to a meeting and have someone whisper, "Avoid that guy. He'll talk your ear off."? Or have someone ask you how you know Bob Popsticker, and you barely even recognize the name much less how you met?

Many people are chasing huge networks right now. Instead of creating a huge network of people who don't really know you (or who find you annoying), put your attention toward creating a network of people who will champion for you, vouch for you, promote you, etc. That is where the real power from having a network comes from.

If the people in your network aren't doing those things for you (and vice versa!) they might as well not even be in your network. In fact, if they don't or won't speak highly of you, you want them OUT of your network.

When someone says, "So you know Susie?", you do not want them shifting their eyes and hesitating awkwardly. Or worse, they respond with, "Yeah, I know her. She calls me every two months asking if we're hiring. I saw her portfolio and I wasn't impressed."

These conversations happen all the time. If I vouch for someone who I know does shoddy work, I am going to look and feel like a moron - especially if the person I'm speaking to is a friend or someone I really respect. I end up sacrificing the trust of the relationship I want to maintain.

An empty network, no matter how big, will not serve you - or your connections - nearly as well as a small, powerful one where the individuals are actively championing and proudly promoting each other. Word of mouth or a personal recommendation is the best doorway you can get or give to another.

Don't sacrifice a small, powerful network for a huge, empty one.

Ask yourself this - where are you putting all your energy? Are you building an empty network or a powerful one?


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Want people to keep your biz card?

Regardless of your situation, if you want people to keep your card, put something on it that will inspire them to hold on to it and even look at it every once in a while. One of the easiest ways to do this is to put a really powerful, thought provoking and insightful quote on the back of your card.

If you work for a company and they already printed your cards for you, then print out a quote on some labels and stick that on the back of the card. If you can, find one that most people haven't seen or heard before. That way, they'll be more inspired to hold onto your card since they won't know if they'll be able to find it again. If you are using the Avery "do it yourself" business cards, get the ones that allow you to print on them double-sided.

Your goal is to get people to hold onto your card, right? Maybe they can't use your services right now, but maybe in the future they'll have a need for you. If you can get them to hold onto your card and "run across" it on occasion, you're in the perfect spot. The more someone sees something (your name, your face, something associated with you), the more you are going to feel familiar to them, and with familiarity comes liking!

Who do people call when they need help? Someone who is familiar to them and someone they like.

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Why There Will Always Be Job Openings

I hear this all the time: "No one is hiring!". Before you get too dejected over the job market, consider the following...

The good news is that regardless of what is going on in the economy, key positions will continue to be vacated for a variety of reasons. And those positions will get filled (although not all of them will get replaced right away, but many of them will).

For example, regardless of what is going on in the economy or job market, people will continue to:

* retire
* relocate
* get pregnant and opt not to return from leave
* get so fed up/burned out with their job that they quit
* decide to go back to school full time
* decide to be a stay at home mom/dad
* make a career change
* leave corporate america to start up their own business
* transfer to another part of the company
* get recruited away to another company
* get fired
* die - and yes, this is morbid and unfortunate, but it does happen

And so on. Any company that experiences one of these situations in a key position is going to be hiring. If a VP of Marketing or the assistant to the CEO retires/relocates, etc., you can guarantee that position will be replaced.

Even positions that weren't initially going to be replaced oftentimes do if the hiring manager builds a strong enough business case for it and fights hard to get it approved. And if they don't get replaced right now, they likely will at some point in the future. Companies generally can't handle being severely short staffed for very long.

It might not be a GREAT job market, but there is opportunity out there!

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It's Called Networking - Not Netsucking!

I was just about to write a handy little post on networking when I "accidentally" wrote "Netsucking" instead. I'm sure this has already been coined, but if it hasn't... I'm going to make this my claim to fame. First step: a definition.

Netsucker: People who network with the sole goal to suck as much information from you on how you can help them.

This has become the culture of most networking meetings today. We don't network. We netsuck.

The classic netsucker wants access to all your connections. They want your opinion on their resume and their portfolio of work. They may chatter away in non stop run-on sentences for the duration of the networking event; thus preventing you from meeting anyone else who might actually interest you. Sometimes they turn you into their therapist while they regress mournfully down Unhappy Lane where they once had a wonderful little job and a perky little dog they took to work everyday. Neither of which they have anymore. If you listen kindly enough, they may call you a week later to ask you to be their mentor.

This person has no interest in you. They came to the event with the sole goal to GET.

There is a lot to be said for giving. Whenever possible, seek to give first.

Contribute to the other person BEFORE asking them to turn the next 20 minutes of their life over to you.

When you meet people, ask them what they are working on, what their interests are, or perhaps uncover the magical dream they have always wanted to explore. Most importantly, let conversation unfold naturally. You can start with, "What brought you to this event?" or "Did you try these potstickers?". You never know. Their magical dream could be owning a Potsticker restaurant.

The art in networking is in knowing how to segue conversations to get to what you want to talk about. You want to segue FIRST into talking about areas where you can help them (i.e., if you like Pinot Noirs, you must try..." or "I have a friend who specializes in doing corporate Tai Chi classes - would you like her contact information?". Once you've contributed meaningfully to the other person, then you can begin to segue to things that YOU are interested in, i.e., "So tell me what you do?" or "How is your industry holding up these days?".

If you are forcing conversation, or when it starts unfolding like bad origami, you are likely giving off the Netsucker Vibe. While it may get you some good information the first time, it likely won't result in long term relationships with those you meet. Not only do people feel they are being used, but it can be exhausting having all your expertise, knowledge, resources and connections sucked right out of you in a timeframe existing only in speed dating.

Most people LOVE to help others. Just don't take advantage of it the very first time you meet them.

If you are at a networking event, one of your goals is to meet people. They probably have the same goal in mind. So help them meet one of their goals by setting them free to go meet other people.

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Keep a Victory File!

Is it time to do your annual performance review? Planning on going to your manager to ask for a promotion? Just got laid off and need to start sending resumes out?

If you keep a victory file at work, all of these things will be much easier for you.

Keep a file at work where you keep track of everything you do in your job that counts as an accomplishment, result, win, compliment or success. I keep stuff in two places: a file folder in my desk and a folder in my email account for all the electronic stuff.

Keep everything from an email saying, “You’re awesome!” to work you have designed or developed. Keep reports showing your numbers/stats, copies of presentations you make and emails you send out that showcase your talents (i.e., presenting a business case, or handling a difficult situation). I once kept a binder of every single job aide and tool I created for managers and employees. It was like a portfolio of my work, expertise and knowledge. Basically, keep a copy or record of anything that shows that you have 1) done your job, or 2) done your job extremely well.

When it comes time for your review, take out these files and literally just pull the information you want to include. If you want to ask for a promotion or a raise, you have a file full of evidence that supports your case. If you get laid off or fired unexpectedly, you have all your job history right there and can easily build your resume by taking items in your file and crafting them into bullet points.

And if you happen to having a rough day, flip through your victory file to help put things in perspective. It’ll probably cheer you up a little, remind you of some great things that you had forgotten that you had done, and will pump up your confidence. At the very least, it will remind you that someone out there thinks you are awesome.

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