It's Called Networking - Not Netsucking!
I was just about to write a handy little post on networking when I "accidentally" wrote "Netsucking" instead. I'm sure this has already been coined, but if it hasn't... I'm going to make this my claim to fame. First step: a definition.
Netsucker: People who network with the sole goal to suck as much information from you on how you can help them.
This has become the culture of most networking meetings today. We don't network. We netsuck.
The classic netsucker wants access to all your connections. They want your opinion on their resume and their portfolio of work. They may chatter away in non stop run-on sentences for the duration of the networking event; thus preventing you from meeting anyone else who might actually interest you. Sometimes they turn you into their therapist while they regress mournfully down Unhappy Lane where they once had a wonderful little job and a perky little dog they took to work everyday. Neither of which they have anymore. If you listen kindly enough, they may call you a week later to ask you to be their mentor.
This person has no interest in you. They came to the event with the sole goal to GET.
There is a lot to be said for giving. Whenever possible, seek to give first.
Contribute to the other person BEFORE asking them to turn the next 20 minutes of their life over to you.
When you meet people, ask them what they are working on, what their interests are, or perhaps uncover the magical dream they have always wanted to explore. Most importantly, let conversation unfold naturally. You can start with, "What brought you to this event?" or "Did you try these potstickers?". You never know. Their magical dream could be owning a Potsticker restaurant.
The art in networking is in knowing how to segue conversations to get to what you want to talk about. You want to segue FIRST into talking about areas where you can help them (i.e., if you like Pinot Noirs, you must try..." or "I have a friend who specializes in doing corporate Tai Chi classes - would you like her contact information?". Once you've contributed meaningfully to the other person, then you can begin to segue to things that YOU are interested in, i.e., "So tell me what you do?" or "How is your industry holding up these days?".
If you are forcing conversation, or when it starts unfolding like bad origami, you are likely giving off the Netsucker Vibe. While it may get you some good information the first time, it likely won't result in long term relationships with those you meet. Not only do people feel they are being used, but it can be exhausting having all your expertise, knowledge, resources and connections sucked right out of you in a timeframe existing only in speed dating.
Most people LOVE to help others. Just don't take advantage of it the very first time you meet them.
If you are at a networking event, one of your goals is to meet people. They probably have the same goal in mind. So help them meet one of their goals by setting them free to go meet other people.
www.careergenie.net
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4 comments:
Great article, Dave. I've run across some "netsuckers" already, and it's a bit of a downer spending time with these folks. I've also noticed that tendency on Twitter, folks who simply send out blasts promoting their product or service, but not really adding value to my day. The posts I enjoy are the types of things we relate to our friends, something interesting we saw, a funny quote, or even a quick shout out for feedback.
I'm a mental health therapist with a practice in downtown Portland. I teach my clients mindfulness skills to help them realize greater quality of life and achieve higher business and career aspirations.
Mindfulness based stressed
reduction techniques are researched based and proven to free up mental reserves
for enhanced performance. See my blog for an introduction to indfulness.
LOVED this post and have reposted links to it on Twitter, Facebook, and my LinkedIn Group (Bella Domain Neworking). And, because I fear the economy is only creating more netsuckers (forgive them, for they know not what they do..?), I wrote a white paper where I also mention practicing "mindfullness" in one of the rules of networking. Please feel free to download or share.
I'm just glad someone else is writing about all the ineffective behavior out there!
My April white paper is titled "12 Rules of Networking for 2009."
As a teaser, the first 6 rules are:
1. Be Memorable
2. Always Have A Goal
3. Offer Help to Others First
4. Always Be Sure To Follow-up
5. Be Consistent
6. Don’t Be A Hit and Run
It can be found via this link: http://snurl.com/fe250 pword: network9
Why is it that months (even years) later you can still remember a netsucker and the company they represented. What's really bad is when you're with a group who have all had encounters with netsuckers from that same MLM company.
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate MLM; I've been with the same MLM company for 23 years, but when desperate people promote an MLM they leave a repelling aura in the air that lingers long after you have forgotten their name.
The best way to truly build a marvelous networking team is to look for the gold in another and tease it out. Then demonstrate you'll be their friend first, support them second and enrich them third! I have many who have been with me over 20 years!
It's all about enriching the lives of others so that they become your best cheerleader after you have proven that you are their best cheerleader.
Marlee Huber
www.mynoevirbiz.com/marlee
Never heard about netsucking but this can add up to my vocabulary. Now I'm aware of this.
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